Oh my.

So.... it all ate more than was planned sad face:(

I had some toast in the middle of the night at E's yesterday. Then today had a custard tart (which was gross), and some small chips. And I did steal some malteasers. E got caught and in troubleeeee. Ahha. And I had a bit of enchilada for dinner, so I was on my feet running around at work all day but I still feel fat. And I weighed myself (at night with clothes and food weight) and I was 69.6 which is lower than I deserved so that's good.

I'm going to fast with Marcus and Lucy tomorrow. Not sure how long for. I'm working 6am - 2pm. Hmm. I might allow myself apple and orange juice, but that's all. Thennn I'm home alone for 3 days! Yay! No eating. Extended fast..? See how I go, my initial intense motivation is gone so it shall be slightly harder. But anyway.

Farewell. No eating tomorrow! I will wear the red bracelet! Yay!
Love.

Beh.

So yesterday was ok with the dinner. Had some cous cous an egg and some vegetables, no empty calories at least. Then today I successfully avoided breakfast, hmm.. but at recess I had a muffin and a dim sim. Yeah. Damn it. And an egg for lunch. Shit.
And I got out of school early yay.
Oh well this can be an avoid binge day. So I will go to work, not eat then stay at E's grandmas coz its easy to not eat there, then tomorrow I shall work 9-5.. I will eat a banana and pear. Um.. then go home. Then I will eat some dinner because on Sunday I have 6am - 2pm so another apple there. Then home and sleep. Yay.

So what happened today? 'twas the awards thing at school, I did not get an award *shock horror* but while I was sitting there and everyone else was getting awards a big serious teacher came up to me and was like 'you know who I think is the smartest person in year 12 is?" And basically implied that I'm oh so smart and have so much potential and would be so great if I ever did any work. Sigh. How embarrassing. I'm wasting my school life I suppose.. oh well. Potential's no good when it comes to it. Beh watcha gonna do?

Ok I'm going to sleep now so I don't get angry at E whilst we work. Yes we work together. I spend more time with that boy than my parents I swear. Anyway.

Yo

Hi there.

So athletics carnival today = good. I ate 3 apples again, and tea. Left my water bottle at E's though so I'll have to get a new one. I am so sick of APPLES. My god. Anyway they are my safe food.
Now.. I ate three apples and did a few athletical events, um so that is good, I am still going to L's tonight though so I'll have to eat. Beh. And hmm yes all in all should be ok, Friday I should be able to miss dinner, Saturday I'll be working all day and pretend to have eaten there. Cool. So. All's well I suppose.

Farewell ladies. Or lady as it were :p

Oh and I think I'm around 69.2kgs now (how embarresment) so that's down about 2kgs. Cool.

Yum.

Intake;
3 apples
1 small roll with egg.
Lots of tea and water. That's quite good, all things considered.
I went to E's, they had nachos, doritos, potato cakes and chips, andd chocolate. Bam I ate an apple. I do get angry a lot easier when restricting though. So I got grumpy with him a bit. Anywho.

So that went well, now tomorrow is the athletics carnival at school. Contrary to popular belief this isn't a good thing. Hmm. I'll just have apples, watevs.

So.. I'll be back on Saturday. Oh wait I'm coming home tomorrow afternoon before going to my friends house. Cool. Anyway. Byes.

Success!

A good day is good.

Intake;
1 cup of my mother's "diet soup". Basically tomato and cabbage with stock in water
2 apples
About 1.5 cups of rice and vege stir fry.

Hmm cool.

Now tomorrow I'm going to E's, Thursday I'm going to another friends and Friday I'm staying at E's grandmas. Tricky.. tricky..
Maybe I'll be like Lucy and try Cassie's way. Hum dee dum. It'll be fine. I do have to focus on avoiding the maccas, damn where I work. You know they have malteasers in Sundaes now? So easy to steal them. Anyway better make a plan;

Tomorrow;
Tea for breakfast, apple for recess&lunch, and a quater of a sandwich... now dinner will be at E's, I'm vego and they all <3 meat so I'll probably end up with some salad or carrots.. or pasta. Let's try and avoid pasta.

Thursday;
Tea, apples, then L's house.. hmm.. my cat is so cute. Anyway. L's house. Usually her father buys some tofu when I come over, then fries the tofu and gives it to me. Pretty gross but not very fatty. Though I have voiced my distaste for this dish to L. We'll see. I'll manage.

Friday;
Probably will have to eat a decent breakfast.. fruit for recess and sandwhich for lunch then dinner should be easily avoidable. The problem will be control. For the whole time I'm working at maccas I'll have access to free coke zero though, which I'll have to train myself to like.

Saturday;
I'm working 9-5... I'll have to eat something. Avoid binge avoid binge avoid binge. Ok I am not allowed to buy maccas. I'm going to bring a whole lot of apples and nuts. K. She'll be right. Then I'm working 6am-2pm Sunday. Around maccas so much.. beh. Ok I'm saving money like a bitch so I could just not bring my wallet then.. BAM no maccas. Yeah I'll do that. Ok.. I'll have to just have some apples.

Well this post has been long and boring but I have sorted my head out somewhat.

Love.

We're meant to be seen and not to be understood.

So today I went to school. It was all cool at school.

Did I mention my mother is ginving me $10 for every kilo I lose. Woooohoo.

But anyway bleh. Well I am not motivated enough right now at this second, today went ok, I ate my apples and had my water. And one of my apples was crap so I actually only had one.. Dinner was more than planned though. Healthy 'good fats' though.. but I didn't feel particularly conflicted about it. Although I do feel completely disgusting with this food in me now.... I'm considering going and having a cold shower and throwing up. Cold showers sure are getting a lot of attention lately. But I won't do that. Because I'm not motivated enough to make myself colder than I already am. Which is very cold. So cold.

So some more motivational list.
Food hates me.
It goes all up in my belly and makes me feel like shit.
Tea is yum.
Water is awesome.
I'm fat and ugly.
Mainly fat.
And oily.
I work at maccas. Only thin people can work at maccas without being shit (new rule)
Food costs money, and I have to save for London, and the cruise.
If I am to go on said cruise it will be 10 days of living in swimmers... 6 months to go.
I have a gym membership and its running out and costing money.
Everyone judges me for being lazy/eating.

So. That didn't really work. If anyone knows where I can read 'wasted' online I would be eternally grateful and possibly repay you in sexual favours, I don't believe I could own it in my home without causing suspision. WAIT MELBOURNE. I can buy it from Melbourne and just hide it. Excellent. See otherwise I would have to buy it off the internet and the package arriving for me would be questioned.

Now that I've effectivly avoided all subjects for an entire lengthy posts, I bid you farewell.

Ha! rereading that list in preview did work and I am now off for my shower. Take that you ricey ricey carbs.

Ahem.

-brushes over absence with excuses of homework and what not-
Tommorow;

No breakfast - water
Apple for recess - water
Apple for lunch - water
Apple after school - water
Fuck dinner right up the bum. Maybe soup. Or an apple - water.

With water in between. And the gym. Ze gym. Gym. gyyyym.

Why?
I am going to Melbourne in 10 days.
My formal is this year.
It will make my skin look awesome.
Fat people suck balls. Chocolate salty balls.


Bye guys.