Thursday, August 12, 2010


i dont really care about anything
just feeling the rage.
not as in the australian early morning / late night music video show, as in the emotion.
so much rage. um. so i would like to go out and possibly drink a lot and maybe do some drugs and then die.
but no.
i have no friends. my friends are all oh-so-responsible.
drink in moderation, if at all.
have no fun.
what is this even?

oh, i deleted that tumblr i linked to in my last post, i deleted my facebook and irl tumblr as well. its very liberating.

i want to go on a murder suicide rampage.
actually no i don't just a suicide rampage.
or get drunk make new friends and have a hot man.
but what are you gonna do?

so i lost a follower after my last post.
i'll probably lose a few more now.
yeahh i'm just not up with the whole blogging dealio.
not eating is no longer an effective coping mechanism for me.
i still love you lola-rose.

i might go sleep now. to sleep, perchance to dream. yeah quoting hamlet right there. and you know what that quote was about? suicide. yeah. appropriate.
bye my lover/s

i rlly dont like e rite nao btw. wat a dick-face.
luffff yousss. <#<#33<#3,

Sunday, August 8, 2010


by the fact i can't make 70 posts in a night without looking like a dick. as such i am going to tumblr.
i'll probably still go here y'know whatever.
but do you do tumblr? its pretty gay over there with all there triangles and shit.
not gay in a homophobic way AIM SORRY but there are allotta people thjat lover the same sexx on that site.

anyway you can maybe find me here if i remember to keep doing it


reallll whimsical url hey. gotta be whimsical if you wanna survive on tumblr.
not really though.
i might sleep now.
i love you so hard .

What is this I can't even.

hey hey yo all ma bitchez yeah.
i'm in the middle of exams
very important exams
the second most important exams i will ever do in my school life
maths is tomorrow
i am really tired E stayed over last night and we watched 'la vie en rose' that went til 2am and was complicated and beautiful and in french.
and the night before that i watched 'trivial matters' which was complicated and in cantonese and very amusing.
but i should be studying.
but i don't care.
i'm too tired.

i don't know. i feel obliged to mention food.
what can i say? i'm very fat. well. i should be very fat. but i haven't gained anoymore than a kg since i was last here.
i eat so much. i kind of want to fall over and die sometimes. most of the time. whatever.

uhm. i really can't wait to finish school...
and leave australia.
or at least this place in which i live. i'll go to melbourne and have a beautiful boyfriend and we will have endless hot sex and drink wine on the rooftop of our apartment at night. and go out to see bands and have a multitude of social acquaintances but no internet or tv and i will work as a.. primary school teacher. i mean i don't want to be unrealistic or anything. so i'll just be a primary school teacher. but he'll be an events manager. and meet everyone. take us back stage. and all the kids i teach will love me and i'll dye my hair wild colours and i'll be that crazy teacher everyone wants to get as a sub.

that's what i want right now.
or i want to go into the bush. camping. with about 10 people i don't know very well. or even the 4 people i do know. and we will all get so drunk we wont remember our own names let alone our problems. and there will be a camp fire and tents and i will go and camp with an attractive mysterious stranger, who's very tall and smells like smoke and has a bit of stubble and wears a leather jacket. but he wont wear it for long.

well. this post managed to say nothing in a lot of words but i just want to talk with someone on the phone about everything. but someone who doesn't see me every day. someone who i see very occasionally. and when i do see him/her we will talk to each other only the whole time no matter who else is there. but if it's a man there wont be any sexual tension. none.